i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This gyro tastes like lonliness
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
