Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
