return my video game
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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