To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
