To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
