I just pynch a tree in the face
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
