You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
