Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
