My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
third nipple confirmed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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