I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
