It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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