Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
