The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
