It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
