i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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