Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I AM VODKA MAN
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
