What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
