don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
