From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize