Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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