Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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