I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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