You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
