This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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