Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
