In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
