clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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