What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
