I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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