dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
