fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
