Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
