he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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