You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
