Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
