even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
