eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
