the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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