All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
