She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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