Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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