you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Terrible idea I love it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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