so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
