She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Who died my cat blue again?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize