shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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