I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
