And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
