Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
