did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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