they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you inspire me to be a worse person
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
