hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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