I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
