Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
