You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
