it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
