Need sex. Gaining weight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just had sex on a roof
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
