Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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