I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
