Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
