just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
