i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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