is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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